I saw this post this morning and wanted to answer, but was busy with a 4 month old until, well.. about 5 minutes ago
I did want to answer these from MY experience, because I wondered the same things, and the same anxiety about quitting drinking kept me drinking and "planning to quit" until it about killed me.
I would venture a guess that most alcoholics think they are 'high functioning'.. Lots o' delusions with this stuff I tell ya!
I'll take a shot at these, briefly (napping baby, could wake at any moment);
So, I ask the group (and myself) IF I am successful at quitting drinking then what???
Then the rest of your life begins. I know.. cliche.. but true. Don't stop at simply dropping the drink.. you got a lot more to work on after that.. it's well worth it, I promise.
Will I be a happier & healthier person?
More than you've ever been.. more than you can even comprehend now.. but not just from quitting drinking, from working on recovery. Quitting drinking is the easy stuff.. it's the rest of the work that creates a better life than you can even think of!
How do I fight the urge to order a drink when I walk into a cozy bar and hear the buzz of conversation and the familiar clinking of glasses?
When I quit drinking, I avoided bars for a long time. I thought my 'friends' would miss me. They've yet to call me, and I've been out of 'my' bar for over 15 months. I don't drink, I don't go to bars.. mostly because I don't want to be around drunks. They're annoying and smell gross, and talk really loud about things that I'm not interested in.
What are the benefits you think I will realize (besides the not making an ass of myself or waking up with a hangover)?
That's a huge question, with an even bigger answer. I will say in my experience I benefitted from better relationships with my husband and family, my REAL friends who had been pretty neglected due to my wanting to party all the time.. My self esteem grew immensely, once I really worked on myself and got rid of a ton of life's toxicity (alcohol and other destructive thoughts and behaviors). It's a life change.. it's not like deciding to no longer eat a certain food.. there's an entire drinking culture, having to learn to live in a completely different way was terrifying, necessary, and the best thing I have ever done for myself.
What do I replace a cold beer with as a reward for say mowing the lawn on a hot day?
Bring the kids outside and squirt them with the hose.. roll around in the freshly cut grass with them. Pop a Mountain Dew. Teach the kiddos how to make and eat/drink root beer floats. Who says you get a reward for mowing the lawn anyways? lol.. joking..
What am I going to do with all my spare time when I am not drinking?
Everything you've been putting off because you HAVE been drinking/hungover, etc. When I quit drinking I threw myself into two things.. counseling (one on one), and the gym. Neither have harmed me so far! I also got back into cooking.. actually reading books.. watching LOTS of movies (and remembering them!), taking up photography again, I became more thoughtful (that sounds so cheesy, but bear with me) with my friends and family.. I put more effort into their birthday gifts and celebrations, I found treasure in conversation and quietness spent with people I love. I hadn't done that in eons. I can't believe the time I had wasted.
What do I tell my friends when I go over and they offer me a beer and I say no thanks?
Well if you've already said "no thanks" you really don't owe anyone anything else. Sure you could pull the "I'm on some medication" lie, or whatever, but hey.. I lied enough when I was drinking all the time. It actually felt good to just say, "I don't drink anymore.. I drank enough, I'm done!", with half a chuckle.. I didn't generally get anymore "why?" "can't you have one?", because I surround myself with people that CARE about my well being. Friends wouldn't want you to do anything you've made a choice not to.
How do I have fun when I go out with a bunch of people to a bar?
I can't answer that, because I don't go to bars. 15 months later I still abhor the scene. They weren't my friends, there's other things to do. I actually drive by bars now and pity the people I see hanging outside smoking their cigarettes wobbling from a drunk buzz.. that's not life... at least not my life.
I'm a generally shy person and admittedly have used alcohol as a "crutch" in social situations. How am I going to overcome that and conquer my fear without alcohol?
You will be amazed at the skills you learn that have been hiding inside you. I was really surprised to find out that I'm not anxious, shy, or boring. I'm really funny sometimes, sober even! My anxiety went away when the booze did. I found it less important to 'perform' in any way socially. Sometimes I'm quiet.. sometimes I don't care to socialize much. My life is complete with my family, husband and new baby boy. I'm not in some sort of performance, I live a simple and full life.
Ha.. see, I thought I'd type really short answers but look what you got. Thank my lil 4 month old for taking a nap longer than 10 minutes for once!
Best of luck to you.. it's a great choice, sobriety. There's lots of ways to get there, and stay there. Look at all the responses here, the journey of sobriety is as different as we all are. Some folks jump into AA and it's awesome, some go with outpatient group therapy.. or like I did, counseling and 'bibliotherapy' (reading tons of therapist recommended books), and countless other ways. The number one thing is support.. you'll find TONS of that stuff here!! Welcome to SR.