I learned this on here from someone very wise, sorry I can't remember exactly who but here goes:
You are assuming that this other woman is just like you, has the same needs as you etc. Maybe she doesn't need to feel “respected” like you did, maybe she needs to be with someone who is selfish and unavailable to her. It's absolutely fruitless to imagine that his relationship with her is like your but “better”. Impossible, 2 people bring 2 unique sets of needs, attitudes and behaviors to a relationship.
Like you, she does not have the power to change him, to control his addiction or cure him. It's always nice in the beginning, and what you have his knowledge of his history so you know how it's going to go, or how it's going to end. It's her journey now to either tolerate it or discover the things you yourself have discovered.
Not for nothing but I'd be quietly thanking her for taking out your garbage!!!!!