Bless you Bookwyrm.
I was ecstatically happy with him in the beginning - as happy as I've ever been, I think. Then he started bingeing in secret and it was like meeting a completely different person. Truly, night and day. He was pretty consistently awful for months after his drinking was out on the table and then I was summarily dismissed. For someone ... who adores him? Who's easier? Who wasn't around the week he got arrested for public drunkeness? Who doesn't know that he signed up for, then pulled out of, alcohol counselling?
Yes, it was bad - and no, I couldn't go back there. But it sounds like they're serious and going strong - and I guess it makes me feel ... less than. His long term ex is the one who left him, although they managed eventually to stay friends. His new relationship sounds great and apparently he's been welcomed as part of the family. And I was stuck in the middle like a landing pad. I got cut off at the knees with an abrupt, but not surprising ending - and haven't heard a peep from him since the breakup.
It hurts all over again. I think because I'm in recovery he knew that I knew how serious his situation was. I didn't harp, didn't interfere and didn't make any demands. But he had no intention of stopping and I guess we reached a fork in the road.
It's just so confusing. I'm still (STILL) confused about the whole relationship. Is he even an alcoholic? Because who manages to make a miracle recovery and develop a whole set of adult relationship skills in a matter of months - and yet he seems to be doing great.