I just wanted to share a great moment I had this evening. Such progress in it.
I went out with my family to dinner tonight. Since beginning this recovery journey my relationships in my immediate family have really begun to blossom, and I'm just so pleased about it.
Tonight as we all placed our orders of dishes to share there was chattering and downright squacking about who was going to eat what and who was going to share with who. There were smatterings of conversations. There were disagreements and waves of drama.
Right in the middle of it all, I felt this very strong sense of calm where I used to feel anxiety and upset. I found myself taking it all in as if I had just woken up and landed in the here and now, completely in the moment.
I watched the interactions between family members noticing behaviors I'd swear I've never noticed before, though I'm sure they've been repeating themselves for years. I felt no defensiveness, no self-doubt, no insecurity, no feelings of judgement in that moment just entirely at ease.
I realized on reflection of it that no one at that table had changed. They are the same cast of characters I have known and it is me who has changed.
Acceptance
Self discovery
Self validation
Serenity
Faith
Letting go
These are just a few of the tools that have made this possible. I would say I got my family back in this process, but that's not quite true. Recovery brought a new and more complete me to the family I always had.
What joy that is!
I couldn't wait to share this with you. Thank you all for being such a big part of this process for me!!
Peace,
Alice