setting the facts straight in my own head
I was often accused of:
1)making stuff up..now I realize its because he was drunk and didnt remember what he did or said..He didnt remember talking to those girls on the phone and me overhearing and causing a fight..he also didnt remember the lies he told so when it came back to bit him he would blame things on me making stuff up
2) my nose whistle was so extreme he needed to sleep in the other room...now i know its because he ran from intimacy
3)that I didnt know how to talk to people..now I know its because he is an alcoholic and normal things I say he cant process
4) he would in a nutshell put me down..like how I dress, perfume etc (and I worked in NYC for many years so I feel confident that I knew stuff about fashion)..now I realize he despises himself and always obsesses about his self image and he told me that to make himself feel better.
5) He would say I intimidated him..Now I know he meant I knew a lot of his dirty little secrets that he never wanted others to know because he self image was so precious..
6) not loving him unconditionally..now I know its because my gut was protecting me from falling for his crap anymore and he didnt like that.
7) being a bad financial planner..now I know that I am financially stable and always have been since I was 21..he isnt. he makes money but spends it right away..I think I am a better finance guru than him who has an accounting degree.
8) of not being normal..now I know he was right because normal would never have gone near someone like him. So now I know I have to work on my own past issues so I never go near that fence again..
9) of not having friends and my own life...now I know I was working myself to death and didnt have time for friends..I am loveable though and I have some of the most wonderful friends ever now..
10) being bipolar and needing to be committed...I went through a depression in my early 20s and they classified it as bipolar 2..he never let me forget it. everytime I got mad I got accused of having an episode. now I know he needed to put me down to shake my confidence so I would leave him alone
11) being to sensitive about people who drink because of my childhood..now I know I was right..before his disease progressed where there is no doubt he is an A he would try to shake my confidence down so I would leave him alone
12) being a perfectionist and doing research before making any commitments or purchases...now I know its because he didnt like that I cared enough to make right and responsible choices..he wanted to get back home and drink so he wanted me to think quick and leave him alone.
13) getting too fat..he used to tell me to stop eating and stuff because he cares aboout my health..now I know its cause my weight affected his self image and I was no longer sexy enough for his friends to comment about me. Its ok..I did lose the weight once he was gone.