That's the hardest part, isn't it? Because they ARE there, darn it! And they are making bad choices!
Oh, I feel you!!
Here's a quote from the book I previously referenced (pg 62)
"Detachment is not a cold, hostile withdrawl; a resigned, despairing acceptance of anything life and people throw our way; a robotical walk through life oblivious to, and totally unaffected by people and problems; a Pollyanna-like ignorant bliss; a shirking of our true responsibilities to ourselves and others; a severing of our relationships. Nor is it a removal of our love and concern, although sometimes these ways of detaching might be the best we can do, for the moment.
Ideally, detachment is releasing, or detaching from, a person or problem in love. We mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically disengage ourselves from unhealthy (and frequently painful) entanglements with another person's life and responsibilities, and from problems we cannot solve..."
The hard part, for me with my A, is that I don't want to accept he is really that way. He's so self-destructive. So my anger and disbelief and sadness is my reluctance to accept that it is so. As if, when I accept it as reality, I somehow am complict, or approve, of it. I don't want to!!
I somehow miss that I have no control and all I am doing is denying reality. <sigh>
All there is to do is accept that it is not your life to control. It is their life and choices and we TRULY do not know what is best for them, only what is best for us.
Sounds easy, hmm?
