Jenny, I can relate to how you feel. Axbf, was leading me to believe he was going on 1 year of sobriety (I did have my doubts.) I kept thinking, if I had just stuck it out a bit longer, our family would be together, if only I had given him more time, etc. I really made it mean something about me, that he could be sober for his girlfriend, but not for me and the kids. As it turns out, he has been using every 3-6 weeks, and his girlfriend has been covering for him. I realized my intuition about the dynamics of their relationship, him using, etc. was pretty spot on. I have gained a greater respect for my own insight. I have also realized how much it is going to take for him to overcome his addiction. He has been using since he was 12, and he is 34!
Letting go is the best thing you can do for him. Focus on creating the life you want for yourself! That is what I am working on.
