Shelly-
Hi - I am an addict too... and Narcotics Anonymous is what has saved my life. It is a path to freedom for anyone who truly WANTS to recover from active addiction. We can only practice the principles of the program, go to meetings and reach out to give and receive the help and love of others who give us hope very often because they have been there too and they are still here - clean today - and have made it through the hell we know we are facing. knowing it CAN be done is one thing that seems to work miracles in so many of us. Looking at another person and listening to them share their story and finding out that - well, sometimes they could have substitued our name in for theirs and it would have been OUR story - or sometimes we look a little deeper than the actual course of events and discover that we are still so much alike - INSIDE - we can all do this. There is no story or feeling that you could share at an NA meeting that SOMEBODY could not have some eimilar experience to... and could maybe tell you how they got through it. We can draw strength we didn't know we had in us from recognizing that others have ALREADY done what we desperately know we NEED to do.
If you need medical help, try to get it... but first and foremost... get to meetings. The only requirement is the DESIRE to stop using! You can do this!
My drug of choice was not the same as yours, but I have learned from others who did share your drug of choice that it will not kill you - the detox - but it WILL make you wish you were dead for a while... so if you can get treatment to assist you in the easing out of using, great... but the fact is it will NOT kill you is what I have learned... You will make it through! But you REALLY have to want it...
it is here - recovery is saving a seat for you!
HUGS... amanda