Hi-
I am Amanda and I am a recovering addict. You made a big and WONDERFUL first step in the life-direction going to that meeting... And hurray for you that you realize that alcohol is a drug too, and that you cannot substitue one for another and still hope to gain any freedom from active addiction. That is good, sound advice you are giving yourself, about really taking a look at who are true friends in your life today. Going to meetings will eventually provide you with a WHOLE slew of new ones who are focusing on the new choice/direction you are trying to take yourself. Hang in there.
You will probably find that at least one meeting per day is going to be a MUST for a while. Especially with the things that are occurring in your body - you will be helping yourself soooooo much if you can continue to go each day and ask for more and more help - share what you are feeling, and listen for others who are just like you! You might consider listening as well for the message of another woman in those rooms who sounds like she has a bit of what you would like to get. These women - who are obviously working the steps in their lives, have sponsors themselves, and seem to have found a bit of freedom and serenity - are the ones best chosen for sponsorship. A sponsor will be one of your first active commitments to YOURSELF, actually! By getting a sponsor who you commit to calling regularly - whether your day has been good, bad or indifferent - you will be practicing honesty, and beginning to experience true intimacy and trust with another human being. I don't know if you can identify with this, but during my active addiction I really never was able to let people IN to who I actually AM. Today, I am learning who I am, so I am able to share myself honestly with others. It is truly rewarding and one of the gifts that makes me appreciate my recovery EVERY single day!
It DOES get better... it really does. It probably is better already on some level, and I promise you that there is further freedom if you are willing to go after it as hard as you probably went after your drugs. It can be done!
keep talking... let us know how you are feeling... we are here!
hugs, amanda