All the time I kept thinking "this is the best way to spend money besides having a cleaning lady help out at home"
My therapist
was happy to see me.
told me I don't have 1 or 2 options but have many many options available
told me I didn't have to pick one NOW.
reminded me I can choose what I need but after that others may choose what they need, and I would need to respect that.
was happy to know I went No contact with Ex.
told me I look good (have lost 7 kg - 15 lib) !
Then I went with the the Bach flowers lady
she gave me a CD that talk about the importance of saying I CAN. Of being grateful of things that may not be here yet but your heart desires. Like
"thank you God for allowing me to forgive xabf and let him go with love and understanding"
she recommended me 2 books
she told me my words and thoughts and actions have power and matter.
she told me I have to be impecable with my words and no longer use them to hurt.
she gave me a remedy to be more tolerant, to focus.
"Magically" a day later:
BF is emotionally supportive and helps out with chores
BF has a job offer
BF knows someone in the government that grants $$ for people starting their own business
I approach BF in a different tone - I stop saying "you X and Y" and start saying
I know I am difficult to live with because I am too emotional.
I know I got a big issue trusting, but it doesn't help when you break the trust I start to give you.
I don't want to try to change you.
I want to laugh more.
I keep distance because I am disappointed and sometimes you do not even act as a friend.
Then he also talks about things he realizes about himself... the discussion gets more constructive.
Things at the job solve easily
I feel more capable
I am more efficient
They give me a parking space inside the WTC so now my car is safe at work and at home and I don't have to walk and be harrassed by construction workers etc.
I turn heads.
I feel happier and want to date my BF tonight.
We are not as frustrated with taking a break because we may go to a place I LOVE with an uncle and my dad that won't cost us a cent, only the traveling expenses.
"Coincidentally" my two best girl friends nearby. I have hopes.. maybe I see all of them soon.
I love I have found tools and power to make my own life better. I am astonished about how quickly things change once one considers a different outlook !
