keith, I believe leaving/getting some distance has been the main advice because that would be the first step to achieve some clarity... just like with alcohol, there are other issues as well, but you cannot work on them if you are not "sober" and that means "no contact" in the F&F forum. That has been the spirit of the messages in my humble opinion...
But I get it.... it is also wishful thinking to believe once we are away from an active alcoholic everything will be happiness. Just like active alcoholics when they leave an enabler thinking their issues are over. Its just a very sad dance of denial!
Lotus, all the best to you. I know its difficult and I hated to listen to this, but its true.. don't take it personal. He is not doing this TO YOU. He is not out to HARM YOU. He is just doing what he does. He is just being who he wants to be now. You can't control him. That comic book thing resonated because the alcoholic I knew is also a comic fan... there is some "don't want to grow up" aura with that sort of thing.
Know there is much hope and gifts for you, if you decide to receive them... we are here for you. I am glad you decided to share what you are going through. It takes guts to share who we are, to remove the mask that "we are ok" or "we can manage our life".
HUGS