Oh lord Lotus...
The never-ending gut wrenching hole we dig ourselves into with our A's. I am praying for you, that if you are still in your car, you will back out of the driveway and just keep driving.
The place are you in is nothing but a dead end. The road ahead may be long, scary and unknown...but it is YOURS. Please, leave this sorry excuse for a man behind you. You seriously need to go south side on his @ss.
The more I read your story, the more I kept asking myself....How much MORE does she need to go through before the lightbulb goes off? Lotus, beloved, you cannot save him from himself. You can pray, hope, wish, beg, demand, cry, act crazy..and he will STILL continue to do whatever he wants.
He doesn't care.
He doesn't want to care.
He is a liar.
He is a thief.
And he is NOT a man you need to fulfull you. He is selfish, sad and needs to grow up! Put on your big girl pants, put the car in reverse, and get the heck outta Dodge sweetie! The sign says...BETTER LIFE 10MILES AHEAD!!! Go for it!
:ghug3