You are miserable. Why?
1) Because he's a horrifying excuse for a husband?
2) Because he's an alcoholic?
3) Because you have an insatiable need to prove he's both of these things?
You will continue to be miserable. Why?
1) He has no reason to be a better husband. He is who is. You married an adulterer. You married a louse. You wanted a husband, he wants to be just as he is.
2) Without recovery, alcohol is a permanent and progressive condition.
3) You have received 1,000 different pieces of proof of his hurtful behavior up until now and it hasn't been enough to convince you and you still have to ask others if you've had enough.
He will continue to string you along with the we'll talk, no I'm walking out, okay let's talk, no you're crazy, now we'll talk, forget it you're too emotional BS until it stops working on you.
He will continue to sleep with whomever he wants, whenever he wants, how many different ways he wants BECAUSE HE CAN.
Nothing is going to change until you change the only thing you can change....and that is YOU.
Stop sitting in the car with a packed suitcase and just drive away. There are shelters you can call. There are motels you can stay at. Call a friend at their work and ask to stay the night then go nurse a coffee at a diner somewhere and wait for your friend to finish work. No one could think clearly in all that chaos. Get some space and let yourself breathe a little.
My best to you,
Alice