GiveLove

Lotus,

Listen to our transformie. She speaks from the wisdom of having been through this too much, too long.

You wanted feedback on whether you're overreacting. Here's feedback: Any one of the things your husband has done and said in the last couple of days would have led me to pack and leave without looking back - and good riddance. I'd be off finding the most savage divorce attorney in existence, and would be getting that slimy pestilence out of my life as quickly as I could, before he could ruin even one more night's sleep for me.

And that's me. And I'm pretty mellow. Are you seeing past his gaslighting now?

Maybe you're used to it but can't see it, but as an example: Normal people don't tell their wives FOR ANY REASON that they want to have sex with the neighbor girls. Ever. He is a sick, sad, immature individual that you've come to think of as normal. He creates chaos in your life that you've come to think of as love.

Another purely personal opinion: You are in a crazy situation with a crazy drunk. This situation will destroy your self-esteem, your sanity, your health, and whatever shreds of peace of mind you have left. There is no man on earth that is worth that to me. Stress kills. And I have too much to do with the time I have left.

Take some time away, spend some time with healthy people, and you will be able to see just how insane it is that you're spending so much time and energy trying to save this. From what you've told us, he's not capable of being the person you need...and has no intention of trying anyway.

I'm sorry you're going through this - but you really do have the ability to free yourself any time you're ready to get off the rollercoaster. You are holding the 'stop' switch in your hand. I hope you choose to use it. This isn't love, and this isn't life.

Hugs,
GL