I really enjoyed reading this thread. It is something I have been trying to get some perspective on these days. It is kind of the opposite for me though. I think since I got sober I've been trying way too hard to make up for lost time. It gets to the point where I take life waaaaay to serious.
I guess what I'm trying to achieve is some balance. That's what I'm hearing from Chy, 51, and DD here Gianna. I have been way too driven, and peace of mind is hard to achieve if at the end of my day the list contains loose ends. I feel sometimes that if I'm too occupied with the list, that I cannot really be present and appreciate the moment. Part of my goal today in sobriety is to find a deeper level of acceptance with exactly how I and everything around me is NOW. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I can't just let things slide and be some cosmic hippie, letting the world go by. And I can't be too obsessed with ambition, letting the real flavor of life be lost in always preparing for that someday when the long list is completed.
So here's my idea. Tell me what you think. I want to act in the moment with the idea that I can be ready to consistanly do the next right thing that any situation calls for. This of course requires my sobriety and attention. So I only really need to concern myself with the next move. I can discard the list and really enjoy (and truly participate in) the moment.
I still have long term thinking and goals. I just don't let them take away from the now I guess. At least I'm trying. Maybe a good side effect of working the steps is having a helping hand at getting all the loose ends and the debris cleared up so we can concentrate on the moment at hand. Not being lazy is maintaining the clean street we hear about in meetings that give us the luxury of savoring each moment with peace of mind. And that peace and serenity is what helps me stay sober today. With this in mind it behooves me to stay diligent and keep that precious balance. It's getting a bit easier these days for me. I hope this made sense. It certinly wasn't like this for me even a year ago. 10th step several times a day keeps my perspective balanced.
Be well,
Rudiger