I must clarify that when I called myself a problem drinker it is not because I am afraid to admit that I'm an alcoholic. I am most definitely an alcoholic. The term problem drinker is something I picked up in a driving course that I had to take after a DWI. It used the term problem drinker to describe a person who does bad things, or has bad things happen to them as a result of drinking.
Yes I do have a drinking problem, but I am also a problem drinker. I am an alcoholic, and I still don't think I truly have come to accept that. I don't believe that I would continue to drink if I had really accepted what that means. Part of me still tells myself that I can handle it, and I can moderate, and it will be okay, but I end up slowly going back to drinking more and more, and then I have an epic blackout night and I end up in the doghouse for several days, and feeling like a piece of crap for what I did. My fiance forgives me, and I go back to trying to stay sober again. Rinse and repeat.