Thank you all for the warm welcomes.
Yes, Hevyn, it is pretty amazing that the light FINALLY went off. I have been functional to a point...never problems with the law or with holding a job. It's been "behind closed doors" that I've been what I am. You've all helped me to try to forget and forgive the past and to focus on the future.
The health thing is a whole other issue. Physically, I have never felt so bad in my life. As said, maybe I was numb. Just faced the music and did the blood draw...15 things out-of-wack (Oh my!) Good news is they are related to nicotine, diet, and age and not so much to alcohol. Gonna start eating an apple a day and face the challenge of getting healthy.