Hi KP,
I hear you on this. There is a fear inside of me that I won't spot the pattern in the moment (aka, "rollercoaster") and will get sucked back into the vortex for a time with a mere e-mail or phone message that voices the "magic words" which will promise present and future recovery. A friend of mine recently said, "So what if you do? You're getting healthier and each time, the need to check it out again will get shorter. Though it might mean an increase in pain for a time, if you keep getting healthier you will figure it out faster and faster."
It sounds like you've got clarity going for you, congrats!! Hang in there, you can do this. I love your determination to heal!
Posie