KP wrote:
When he finally did, I thought it was because he'd realized that he was so wrong for drinking, and that he wanted to be sober and live a life with me, and that's why he was contacting me.
People often introduce themselves at AA meetings by stating their name and very frequently with a comment to the effect:
I am sober today for myself.
This can be construed as selfish, but what it really means is that you can't love someone else if you don't love yourself first. You can't help someone else if you are injured yourself. You can't be strong for someone else if you are weak.
An analogy I like is the instructions to parents on an aircraft: "put on your oxygen mask first, and then your child's."
It sounds like you are grasping this, and making really good progress with going no contact and protecting your boundaries. Good for you!And, it sounds like you are understanding he can't stay sober for anyone else....