Thank you all for your comments The craziest thing for me is that I was able to recognize the same traits in others that I have and realize they had a problem with alcohol, but failed to see my own problem. I did recognize that I didn't handle alcohol very well, but guess I had a short memory of the depression and embarassment from the times when I drank too much. Suddenly all those memories seem to be coming back.
Anyway, thanks again for all your comments. It is helpful.