Mansruin,
Welcome to sober recovery!!(((((((((((((((((((BIG HUG)))))))))))))))))) to you. I am hoping and praying that you make that meeting!! Try to get yourself there it will be a tremendous step forward for you to go. Also, it seems like you could use a little medical assistance. It sounds like you need to see a doctor who is experienced with dealing with addiction as soon as you can.
We are here for you and we understand. Please take care of yourself. I am sure your son wants to keep his mommy in his life. Do it for YOU and him.