I'm still here. Official day one is 12/27/09 - but I joined the Jan. class. I'm starting to realize that I had quite a denial system in place. I keep having realizations about things because I think I'm able to look at the whole thing much more objectively now...probably because having realizations don't threaten almightly alcohol anymore.
My drinking friends are starting to bore the crap out of me. I find myself looking at my watch wanting to DO something vs. just sitting there and watching them drink. But I honestly believe it's therapeutic on a few levels for me.
1) I get to see how lackluster it actually was vs. how I romanticized it
2) I get to see in others how I must have acted while hammered, and I don't want to go back to that
3) I am learning that even when around old triggers, a beautiful day outside with friends, I can replace old automatic drinking behaviors with new NON-drinking behaviors
4) I see that not drinking doesn't mean I can't have fun...or genuinely laugh
5) I get to remember all the hugs that people give me, or the smiles when they see me. I never had that feeling inside of me that I was liked/valued, and apparently I am. Who knew!