I am very thankful for my husbands sobriety for 63 days........
the problem is not my AH drinking or sobriety, I am trying very hard to not focus on his recovery....I am trying to focus on mine.......I want to make sure that if my husband does decide to drink again, that I am not going to fall apart........I have realized that our marriage has the same problems now in present as it did in past when he was drinking.......I have realized alot of it stems from my insecurities and jealousy......I am not going to take all fault, that is for sure.....I think most of the time I am the one that gets mad at him, and then he gets mad because i am mad....(how fair is that)......I really tried hard on Sunday to detach myself.......to have fun and accomplish things without my husband..............but the things I was accomplishing wasnt much fun.(cooking and cleaning) I hear some people really enjoy that......I havent found fun in that yet........I thought about hopping in the car and taking my kids somewhere.........but i was starting to drown in self pitty...........next time I will hop in that car.........but with no money........I wasnt sure what to do.........and going to a park didnt sound good at all..........I am at a park three times a week at my sons baseball practices.