wanting

Your X has a ton of enablers, and my X has none. His family let him know what they think of his behavior, and so did his friends, astonishingly. I think that makes a huge difference in how long it takes them wakeTFU. I don't know, that's sort of my intellectual take on it, I guess.

I want to tell you something - something that really helped to propel me forward in healing. I wondered why this, why that, googled things like "sociopath" and "narcissist" to find answers as to why my life went from a fairytale to a nightmare. It didn't help me at all. It kept me obsessed, focused on HIM. I think the best eye-opener for me was the book Codependent No More. That book explained so well what everyone here tries to say - to put the focus on YOU. Since I've been spending my time thinking about why I ignored red flag after red flag, I've healed a lot, and let go of giving a $hit about why my X does this or that and if he'll ever be sorry one day.

Maybe the alcohol helps them to suppress the nasty side of them. My X quit drinking and it wasn't the magic cure for his unhappiness, so he wanted to blame me. Now that I'm gone, he has only himself to blame. And I'm freeeee!!!