Gypsy, it sounds like you have a lot going on and I hope you find a new home too.
Annie, I was SO much like you are. I was a military wife for 22 years, which basically means you are always second fiddle. We had to move for hubby's job and leave the two kids behind because they were 19 and 21 and both in university. I was devasted and felt like we were abandoning them. We had also moved to a new city so I knew no one. My HP stepped in and brought me to a volunteer job which truly changed my life. I urge you to take a look around your community and see what you can offer. It's a fantastic way to meet people and to get outside of your head.