Thanks, it's so much easier (and supportive) to get feelings out here. When you call friends who haven't been there, the only response you get is just "Let it go, you're better off without him" blah blah Although I KNOW that, there are still feelings that I need to process. It's not just a switch you can turn on and off. When you have been permanently damaged by something (someone) you have to work through the steps. Work in health issues of your own and add in a little family drama, well....it takes time.
Thanks to everybody here!