Kirsty, as Mike said...how good to realize I'm not the only one, although I'm sorry anyone else does feel that way. But it is always interesting to see how the scripts are so similar, and reinforces that I'm not crazy, no matter what they tell me. (Yeah, I imagined my father throwing me on the bed and choking me...when I was 23 no less. Highly likely--she said sarcastically.)
I just stayed after school with friends and doing extra curricular activities as much as possible and then was chewed out for 'not loving my family.' When I did come home, it's not like we had pleasant times together, anyway.
Mike, I really found your post interesting, because one of my clues that I'd had an abnormal childhood was that, as my children grew older, they and I still had a good relationship. My parents always told me either that my unhappiness was due to all my supposed problems, or that this was just normal for teenagers. I see in my own children it's not normal. I treat them with a little respect, and try to behave myself with integrity instead of the disgusting, whiny, temperamental behavior my mother showed, and lo and behold, we get along pretty well, generally enjoy each other's company, and seem to actually like each other!
Another thing that has helped me is regarding my parents as 'impaired.' Just broken, sad people. As I hear the opinions other people hold of me over the years, it helps me believe the truth of this. When I was doing my student teaching, for instance, a cafeteria lady out of the blue, told me I'd be very successful because she could see I was kind. I held onto that, realizing that other people saw something very different in me than what my parents told me. And bit by bit over the years, I've achieved things I can be proud of, I've done things I believe will leave other people's lives better, I find joy in those things, and it helps me bit by bit to genuinely pray that my parents would someday find the same joy. Because I know they're miserable in so many ways.
Work on living your own life, pursuing your dreams, doing good for other people to leave a positive mark in the world, and the anger will gradually go.