He chose his "mistress" alcohol over me...
Hi everyone-
I'm new here. My ABF or should I call him my XABF has chosen his "mistress" alcohol over me. I'm having mixed feelings about this. In one sense I am distraught that he has chosen his love of alcohol over me. On the other hand, I have a sense of relief. Relief that I no longer have to "babysit" him when he drinks, no longer pissed off by his actions with other women, his anger issues when he gets drunk.
A little back story. We were together for 3 1/2 years. We had our ups and downs. Mainly about his drinking problem. His wife divorced him because of his drinking by the way. He'd tell me all the time, he "knows his limits, that he's not a fall down drunk, he blacked out and doesn't remember what he did with our female friend at this year's New Years Eve party.
I guess my question is, is it normal to be feeling this mixed emotions? I do love him, but I also know that his alcoholism was spilling over into my life and my worries for him were starting to take over and I have reached my breaking point with him. It hurts me deeply, that he chose alcohol over me. I know that his disease controls him. I'm just a little lost right now....