Hi Evening Rose
Just wanted to say I can really relate to your post - my father was the alcoholic and my mum the enabler, and same as your family dynamic, she definitely caused me much more damage than my father did, by using me as the family scapegoat telling all and sundry about all my problems growing up how difficult I was etc etc she could be really poisonous. And I also dont have much of a relationship with my siblings because of this.
I realized yesterday, during my therapy session, that the reason im so angry with my folks is that they are both now in new relationships (so they're happy just now because they are being fixed) and they now want me to join in and play happy families- which is something I longed and craved for for years- but I feel so angry because they cant or wont acknowledge the abuse and pain I suffered growing up, I even rang social services when I was 13 and put myself into care because I could not handle not knowing what mood they were going to be in on my way home from school. So for them to now just want to move on and brush everything under the carpet..well 'little me' isnt standing for it! And I know any kind of talk with them about it would be fruitless, as I said they cant or wont accept or acknowledge what happened.
So I guess I just need to stay away and work on me and my recovery.
Best wishes to you all x