I think for me when I finally allowed myself to be angry, is when I made the most progress toward healing. The only way out is through.
I think that once I got past the anger, I could talk about the feelings beneath the anger. I found sadness there, and I could also be honest and real with my parents when before I'd just pretend to be who I thought they wanted me to be. I was one who just took what they dished. I feel stronger now.
I am no longer willing to play my assigned role anymore. Its a process.
I have to keep telling myself that I no longer need to fear my parents because now I'm an adult, and they're not giants with all the power.