Yes Breathe -in and out
How about the Serenity Prayer - if you can't say the entire prayer - try this with me
God
Serenity
Courage
Wisdom
now - Breathe again
You are very correct in stating that no matter what you type, write, sing, dance or scream at the top of your lungs - HE can't HEAR you or understand you
You would come out better talk to a PINE Tree (which I have done just to make me feel better - ha ha ha) if you feel you need to get these things out of your head - type up a FU letter with everything you would like to say to him and print it out and send it thru the shredder, burn it, put it the in garbage disposal, etc
Empty your mind and heart of the blech - but don't waste your time with him - the disease has him and it won't listen.
My ex AH has 5 daughters (he had 3 & I had 2 when we married) he sees NONE of them now - we have 9 grandchildren - he sees none of them. Really most of the girls don't even want to see him - because the never know if he will be sober or not - HE has lost his chance with them. HE lost it - not I kept them from him, I didn't help him enough, blah, blah, blah - He lost it. It was his choice.
Your ex AH is making his own choices - you are only allowing him to do it - this gives him free will - he has the right to choice wisely or unwisely - IT has nothing to do with you.
All you can do is be there unconditionally for your precious children. They will need you and be grateful for you!
HUGS,
Rita