Thumper

OMG. I'm so conflicted. I don't even know what I feel.

So, all these emails have been coming and I have ignored all of them. I want to answer but I do not. I want to head that advice in the other thread - breath before I react.

So many accusations - all just stuff he has said before. I want to respond but then I think why? What would it get me? Would I be able to let it go if I just composed one thought out email and sent it and be done with it? Has anyone done that? Did it bring any closure? I know what I say is not going to change his thoughts one iota. It never has. I will never be understood. He is not capable of looking at this situation in any other way then what he is now, which of course is me taking everything from him, ruining his life and the kids' life, and him being nothing but an innocent victim with a terrible disease and no one standing by his side.

His last email said to never contact him again. Hello - I never contacted him in the first place unless it is for some item of business. It is him who contacts me with non-business focus, which I rarely respond to even if he calls me on the phone. How can I not contact him? We have four kids that he supposedly wants to see. He is punishing them in order to punish me or fulfill some warped sense of self-pity that he has. I know there is nothing I can do about that but I really want to call him on it. It seems like my kids deserve to have me stick up for them but maybe that is just a codependent excuse to have my last stand - to try and get him to 'see the light' and 'do the right thing'. Still trying to change him. :sigh:

The other option is to send one last email simply saying you come and get the kids, sober and in a safe vehicle, when you want to see them and attach the visitation schedule and be done with it. That means he will never see them because he only has a two seat vehicle. If it is me that does the driving - I have to contact him each time to arrange it. What to do?! My channeling powers are failing me today.