Thanks guys for sharing your experiences and insight thus giving me alot of hope!
I feel that while im grieving and working on this process I'd really rather not have any contact with either parent, but then I feel guitly for thinking this but right now I cant talk to them as im so full of rage so i'd rather not, dont want to say anything I might regret- not that im worried about hurting their feelings but my illness will still in some way make me feel guilty.
Bless you all x