Thanks for the "the life that I'm living" phrase!! and the thread!
Yes its the devil because there's only PAIN in there, pain and resentment, the voice trying for you to know anything or remember him or do whatever that is related to him. Its dead and it hurts but it hurts more to start giving CPR to it.
When bkup was recent I also saw his FB which is open for the public in general and read aaaaaaaaaaall the msgs his new GF wrote... but my pain threshold ended there, I could have read the new GF's FB as well and read what HE wrote to her.. but... I didn't.
At one point I even laughed because most of her comments had spelling mistakes... most of them were about hating it was Monday morning, "party party party" oh so not my world anymore. It felt like reading high school notes.
Then I saw he dedicated her the SAME song he dedicated to ME!! and "I thought I was special"
It was one from smashing pumpkins - inside your love...
And felt bad for me!! it sucked!
Then I felt about the then new girl. Ignoring he had used the SAME song on the one before her
"thinking she was special"
I mean you can at least dedicate a DIFFERENT song... ah I never thought I would be laughing about this..
Same planet, different worlds. I LOVE mine now... granted it sucks often, but at least it IS reality and the people in it are REAL. If I want acting I'll go to the theater thanks, with the advantage of not going insane or feeling miserable afterwards.
SR and knowing their modus operandi is very healing. Its like going .. "HAH! YOU and YOUR trash don't fool me anymore. You are not even original.."
PS yes if anger is healing I will be so healed too lol