You are not wasting anyone's time! We are here to help, and want to help. I think everyone on this board understands what you are going through. I was there - totally there.
I think the fact that you are questioning your drinking, understanding that it has a huge role in where you're at right now is very insightful on your part. It's hard to stop drinking without a plan to stay stopped. And it is very overwhelming. But, it's a great thing that you are 20 years old, because you can bounce back from this if you get help.
The first step would be to see a doctor, tell him/her what you are going through so that they can help you through detoxing. Detoxing on your own, going cold turkey, can be dangerous.
Please keep posting here. You are important. You matter. And we care.