just thought of something.
if your ah is really working a program, truly clean and sober, ya know it does take a little time for all the old crappy behaviors to diminish. it may be that he felt remorseful after the yelling/threatening match. he was under pressure and went to his default behavior. he has to un-learn that. don't know enough, just wondering. hard for you, because that shuttles you right back to where you were (emotionally) when you were living with all the bulls..t. stirs it ALL again, instantly.