tyler,
I come from a background of sexual abuse pre-alchohol...alchohol saved me from that for a long time, but then put me in positions for more abuse....eventually my "answer" was killing me...
I always reemmbered some of my past, but I fluffed over it for many years sober...
The bottom line is that we deal with that stuff when we feel safe enough to do so and not before...alchoholism saved me from suicide at 16...when i had to give that up, denial (not intentional) and minimizing (believing my lies to myself) protected me for a period of time.
Eventually thru a support group we don't mention
I felt safe enough and protected enough to actually look at that stuff....and when my life is full of fear and i feel unsafe....that stuff gets set aside till I am again in a place to look at it with usually a new perspective.
Its a fine line, I don't need to push for more to be revealed to my concious mind....but i also can't run from it when it becomes apparent because to do so would be a trip back to self deception and denial of reality that ends for me in a drink.
I try to just relax and let the process happen....ok...I don't do that too well, but thats what i am for and most of the people around me are very supportive of my path through this.
Sometimes the feelings that people have from sexual abuse come from other more subtle abuses, or sometimes expereinces that had to happen (like being in a hospital isolated from your parents at a very young age for months on end for one...).
You'll find out what the fear is and learn to deal with it as you progress in your recovery and everyone here will be here to encourage you through the process as it develops for you.