sounds like you're really starting to accept things for what they are and are looking reality straight in the eyes - I want a piece of that!
Just wanted to say thanks for your post - I hope that if I keep reading posts like these I will eventually reach acceptance as well (not just accepting the fact that there is nothing I can do to make AH quit drinking - I got there - but accepting that I should let go of a marriage that just isn't good for either of us) - one day I will get to that point!! So thanks!