I don't see anything wrong with praising a child for not hitting?
Hi and welcome to the forum.
Well - I hope you'll read the stickies at the top of the forum,
There is yet the religion to be invented
that cures alcoholism.
None NOT ONE religion cures an alcoholic.
Period.
Secondly, while I completely understand your frustration
I also feel I need counsel you
that ....
this problem is not going to be solved with a handbook.
There's not a ... laid out plan that works for every alcoholic.
This isn't a problem that is solved with
"well you did this, now I do that"
It's a process that begins with the Self.
Recovery.. is all about repair.
And learning to appropriately deal with the Self.
And that's whether you're the drinker...
or the drink-ee....
Witholding praise
can do more damage
than making up exuses for someone's behavior.
I'm glad to see you sign on to the forum
I hope you'll learn what you need here.
I strongly suggest you return to the AlAnon meeting.
Get their Literature.
Read it.
Go back.
Ask questions.
<Listen to what you're told.
You said yourself this is not a 'new' problem.
It's not going to go away.
Not overnight not ever.
I think from the tone of your first post you need to educate yourself
more than anything else right now about alcoholism.
About codependency.
About recovery.
Well, welcome to the forum!