Thank-you all for your replies. I actually scheduled an appointment w/ a lawyer to figure out my rights, etc yesterday...the day before that he was violent with my son (o.k...I will put aside the shame and call it what is is), so I took my kids to the guidance counselor's office at my dd's school. My thinking was "documentation" but as I explained to my daughter ("why do you want me to talk to the guidance counselor?") that "daddy needs help, and mommy needs help for that to happen" I realized that my explanation was true too.
I am glad that I have found this website. It will be hard for me to get away in the evenings for Al-A meetings...but this is here for me anytime. Thank you.
o.h...one more thing. My dd asked me that night if daddy & I were getting a divorce, and said she hoped we wouldn't. Open to suggestions for healthy ways I could have answered this??