I've been trying to wrap my brain around the paradigm shift from "my dh is a jerk" to "my dh is a jerk because he is an alcoholic." Seems like Al Anon could be helpful either way? YOUR thoughts?
Al-anon can be helpful either way.
In regards to your dh, we have a saying in the rooms of AA. "Q:What do you get when you sober up a horse-thief? A:A sober horse-thief." This means of course that the elimination of alcohol will not solve his other issues. In fact the 12 steps of AA (you'll get plenty of exposure to them in al-anon) are designed for just this reason - to deal with these external issues. If it were as simple as stopping drinking it would be a 1 step program