hi, yes you should be here. and welcome.
i wish i could be sugar-coaty here, i wish you would know that i don't think that brow-beating someone is the kindest way to get you message across, but here i am reading your post and i have to leave for a work meeting. so please allow me to cut to the chase:
i guess i don't think it much matters the why your husband is a jerk. i draw the line at being abusive, especially to children. consider the fact that he is modeling what it is to be a father, husband, man, and human being. just my opinion, but no way would i want my vulnerable, impressionable youngsters around what you described. and i make no bones about it - the phrasing of such treatment - "half dragging" - only tries to minimize what is actually going on - abuse by a big person to a small child.
keep sorting things out, but please, don't delay trying to protect your children. it's your duty and your delight.