Anyway, I've been trying to wrap my brain around the paradigm shift from "my dh is a jerk" to "my dh is a jerk because he is an alcoholic." Seems like Al Anon could be helpful either way?
YOUR thoughts?
Well, a jerk is a jerk is a jerk! Take the alcohol away and it doesn't instantly make a jerk a non-jerk.
When I think about leaving him, I worry that he would become vindictive and fight for 1/2 time physical custody, though clearly he prefers to leave as much parenting to me as possible (though he does do quite a bit as our lives necessitate...just not a source of joy for him as it is for me).
The future rarely shakes down the way we imagine...I find it is best to stay in today and figure out what is best for me. Am I happy in this relationship? Can I accept this person just the way he is, today? Is it OK that he is abusive and frightening to the children, and what can I do about it?
AlAnon would definitely be helpful if you keep an open mind and work the program - it really turned my head around - because AlAnon makes me focus on ME! And I am the only person I can change or control on this planet!
peace - and welcome!
B.