Hi
Brittani, Welcome. I completely understand how you feel and why what these folks have been telling you does not make sense to you. You did the right thing by honoring your own feelings, values, and instincts. I am so glad you have reached out for help. You may want to consider trying an Al-Anon meeting; they are for family and loved ones of people with alcoholism. Here are some of my perspectives, and some feedback/questions for you to consider. I hope something here helps.
reguardless he needed medical attention.
Ask yourself, in what way did he need medical attention? Had he simply refrained from or stopped consuming alcohol, would he have still needed medical attention?
Once someone has lost all ability to make reasonable choices and is basically on "auto-pilot"- very drunk.
Your BF sounds like he is way past "social" drinking or what might be called "party bingeing" and has entered the realm of full-blown alcoholism. Therefore, your "reasonable choice" standard for intercepting and "helping" does not really apply here. When a person's alcoholism has progressed to the point where he knowingly chooses to get so drunk that he throws up all over the place, cannot speak or hold his head up, etc the reasonable choice was to NOT take the first drink. He made that choice long before you walked in the door. He KNOWS this already because he is in A.A.
Are they capable of having an ephiphany when they cant even walk, talk. etc. Will reality sink in, when are this far gone?
Are you trying to rationalize why you want to continue to help him when he is obliterated like this? Or are you just trying to understand why the others told you to let him be? Why does the alcoholic need to have an epiphany at this time? What reality would you like to sink in?
Again, I know this is his problem/responsibility. I'm confident he would have lost his life during this binge without medical help.
Right.
Brittany, those are the consequences the Universe has put into place for when a human being decides to obliterate himself with alcohol. Throwing up is the body trying to get the alcohol OUT. This is a violent and horrible sign to the alcoholic that he should stop. If they do not stop, yes, they can die. EVERY human being is responsible for making the choices necessary to prevent or reduce the chance that he will kill himself. If you choose to intercede, for WHATEVER reason, you should understand that you are doing so FOR LIFE. So, what reasonable choice standard is strongest?
YOU cannot control the Rules of the Universe, nor can you CHANGE them. You are free to TRY, just like all of us here have done, and many of us continue to do, but it is healthier to do as so many folks have advised you, which is to take care of yourself and your own life. To do otherwise really is to hurt him more than help him, and is a great inconvenience to you.
Remember the saying:
Be careful what you do, because your actions become your habits.
Be careful what become your habits because your habits become your future.