((Cantonian)) - welcome to SR!
I'm a recovering addict, but I am also a codie (codependent). I have members of my family who are addicts/alcoholics. Despite knowing addiction from a firsthand basis, I had to learn a lot about codependence, and began reading on the friends&family forums here at SR when I joined. You may want to check out the one for F&F/alcoholics.
Just because we understand the disease, it doesn't prepare us for dealing with loved ones who also suffer. There are many people here, who go to AA and al-anon, we call them "double winners"
I, personally, don't go to meetings, but I get a tremendous amount of support from the great people here and have learned about setting boundaries, and what how to not get sucked into the drama that comes with alcoholism/addiction.
You may also want to check out the book "Codependent no More" by Melody Beattie. I'm not saying you ARE a codependent, but many of us who have grown up with alcoholism/addiction in our families are. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and most of us don't even realize it until we start reading here or in the book and see the story of our lives in what we are reading.
So, check out the F&F forum, read around and see if anything sounds familiar. I initially read there because I wanted to be reminded of what I put my family through, lest I ever forget and get complacent in my own recovery. I stayed there because I realized how much work I needed to do on that part of my recovery. On a good note, my addiction recovery has blossomed ever since I started working on my codie issues.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy