Thanks Lady...you're right...I do ask myself that question!
No I do not have any children...and that was one of my biggest things. I love kids and want them...and I always say...I could never bring a child into this situation...never knowing how he'd come home.
Yesterday he had his lawyer (his lawyer for a DWI case...his 3rd!) call me..he told me he was really worried about him and would like to see us get marriage counseling. I expressed I tried that in the beginning of our marriage....it clearly didn't work. Likewise, I gave him chance after chance for 6 mts..never did he even TRY or ask during that time to do that. So odd...he's trying ANYTHING at this point. And for the first time instead of feeling guilty again...I was actually MAD that he had the lawyer call me...the nerve. My anger is starting to take over all the guilt and feeling bad. He called me in the middle of the night...unable to speak clearly...asking for Joe...and when I said "what" about three times...he hung up. So that was evidence enough that he's not even helping himself.
Peach....You took the words out of my mouth..."You're never going to live like this again"
Exactly what Isaid to the lawyer when he told me with this disease there's always relapse. I told him..."exactly...and I'm not going to live in fear each day...I don't deserve it. I don't want to live another day like that again!...and he supposidly relapses EACH WEEK...I dunno if that is really a relapse...staying clean for a couple-few days isn't "clean" in my mind!
Thanks for the chat girls! I feel a little better each day!