I went back to that person I was when we lived together, and I hated that girl! I don't want to be that girl!
I allowed that girl to come back into my life last summer. Scared the hell out of my daughter! She said "You went there again". When I saw how hurt she was by my becoming that girl again, I vowed to be more diligent in doing everything I can to keep myself from reacting again in that manner. (btw, it wasn't my alcoholic that brought out 'that girl' in this case)
Good on you Elsie for recognizing this pattern!