Phoenix - you sound eerily like myself last summer, just before I hit rock bottom with my ExAGF, took my cat, packed up my things and left for good. It will only take a nudge at this point I think to push you to a similar course of action.
I was lucky, however, as she had already taken all my love, support, trust and goodwill and long ago flushed it all down the toilet. Once you reach that point, you end up numb if you stay.
I can honestly say that I have not shed so much as a tear since leaving. I may not be in a perfect place right now, but I have peace, and I have my sanity. For her the lies and denial continue on - with or without me, they continue on. I have no pain, no separation anxiety, no angst, no heartbreak......nothing of the sort....such was the complete and utter destruction her addiction, her denial and her alcoholism did to the relationship. Truth is, she lost me long ago and I realised I was merely going through the motions.
Truth is, in hindsight, I see clearly that this creature did not, nor did she ever love me. I was merely a tool, another dupe in a long line of dupes whom she utilised to continue mired in her sad life.
How do I know this? She faked her way through drug & alcohol rehab, and continued to drink secretively. She talks all the language of a person in recovery, however, it's all a lie. It's all an act, and a very transparent one to me now too. Once I realised she had been full of it all along, my decision became simple.
"I feel so guilty for doubting. I can't bring myself to be intimate with her. I can't trust again in the relationship. And I wonder constantly if this really is just my problem. And I wonder if the relationship is dead at this point. I can't seem to rekindle my loving feelings for her, beyond just the care and concern I have for her as a friend. I don't want to be close. I don't want to kiss. I don't want to make myself vulnerable again."
I too cannot bring myself to trust her again. I am full of revulsion, yes REVULSION at the thought of being physically intimate with her.
I was and am still in the exact same place as you. The betrayal sometimes hurts, but not much.
Hope that helps. But if you're waiting for yours to change, even if you leave, I wouldn't hold your breath.
I'm lucky though - I don't feel any guilt. When I think of all the things I did to help and support this person, only to be treated like complete and utter trash, well, guilt is the last thing I am feeling.