The first step is to put yourself first. If you can bring yourself to do that ( believe me I know how hard that is to do) then you are on your way to answering all those questions.
If you don't put your happiness first (as selfish as it may seem right now in your mind) you will not be able to make a decision that MOVES you in the right direction. I always put others first and found it very hard to put myself first, but found that it really is not a bad thing to want happiness and a peaceful life for myself. Until I made that decision I was not able to move forward.
You will know when and what you need to do in your own time. My prayers are with you!