FeelingStuck

Never did I think I'd be writing on a forum about this...but here I am. These things don't happen to me...I'm young, successful, an achiever...but it did...and I feel stuck. So confused and don't know what to do or where to turn.
My Story:
I dated my husband a year and a half, we had a quick engagement, and were married 6 months afterwards. We never lived together prior our marriage...so the day our honeymoon ended...my life changed drastically...I quickly learned things I hadn't know. We had an amazing honeymoon at an all inclusive resort...but they party ended for me when we returned. I started work again, came home to cook and clean and do those "wife" things...while my husband continued to drink huge quantities of alcohol...day and and night. At first I thought he was just having some wine or beers with dinner...but soon after I realized, he wasn't coming to be at all hours of the evening...instead he stayed up drinking. I began finding empty bottles of vodka hidden around the house. When confronted, he lied saying they were old and probably just stuck in bags from the move. He's angry quickly progressed each night as we would get into verbal and physical battles as he tried stealing my purse to take cash or credit cards. I left many evenings...scared...for me..and him. Neighbors had called cops from screams...he had to be taken to the ER from falling and hurting himself...the scenes were worse than I could even describe. I was embarassed for where I was...for where he was. I tried dealing with it myself...but it just got worse. I finally worked up the courage to involve his family and mine 3 months into it all. We got him into a detox center...he came out and didn't complete the outpatient program...ending him back into detox a month later. He is presently in the out patient program. There was 1 time he even went drunk and he was asked to leave...he lied to me of course and had a friend get him. Other times he called and told them I was sick and couldnt give him a ride...etc. Because those were the nights he knew he was too messed up to go. No matter how much I call him and tell him I'm bringing him and supporting him...he finds excuses. I feel like I gained a bad child whom I can't control, no matter what! I recently purchased a breathelizer for the home...telling him he is not permitted her intoxicated. Well...he stopped drinking...but then I was find scripts for xanex, vicodine, etc...it doesn't end! There were nights he hasn't come home...or has in the middle of the night...falling all over the place, destroying our home...even carrying a knife sharpener saying "it's coming to get you"...laughing...thinking it's funny. I'm assuming he was hallucinating or I don't know...I was scared and got the hell out.
I've tried supporting him. I've tried kicking him out. I tried loving him. I tried hating him. He's gotten support from both families...and still has not helped himself. After the last incident, I threw him out...of course he calls and sends cards saying how much he loves me and is going to change...but it's been 6 months of hell...with not even 1 week straight of happiness. I'm done. I fear each day...not knowing what it will bring...not knowing what I will walk into or what will come home. The lies are killing me...he talks to me and tries to make me feel like I'm the crazy one. While I love him sober...I fear and hate him intoxicated. I feel like I can't do anymore...I want out...but I don't know if it's right. I feel ridicule from people...how our marriage ended so quickly...or that I didn't try to help...when I have...they haven't lived what I've lived. I'm miserable and confused...sadly the only reasons I can see to work this marriage out is to save face to all the people who will talk sh*t and for the couple of days out of a week that he's sober...but even those days I'm constantly on edge. Every day I feel like an investigator...I don't want to live like that. Am I a bad person for that? Have I not done everything I should or could? Should I try one more time? Should I just go through with a divorce? Any advice is appreciated.